charliemc

    I was terrified when I realized that my whole existence had become trapped on this tiny sheet of paper. How could I ever get free from it. How could I reach one of my sons and tell him what had happened. If I could reach my sons, how could they possibly save me.

As I was lying down the words, "Daddy I want to see you" penetrated my being. They were uttered in the voice of a young child. Both my children are grown, and I don't think that they miss me. My grandson calls me Paw Paw, not Daddy. Do I miss my own Daddy who has passed. I guess so. I can see him in my mind's eye if I try. I do I miss him.

  I haven't written in ages. I feel the need to write. I've been reading a little, and it makes me want to write. Life is so precious. I am a grandfather now. I can feel the sanctity of life beating so loudly in the heart of my grandson, Brooks. He is seven now. He is totally immersed in his own creation. As his soul takes root in reality; so too, does it grow in my heart. I am presently rereading Toole's Confederacy of Dunces. It is so good. I like to read good literature. I feel his suicide was so tragic. I am sixty-eight now. I think some times of loosing my life and passing away.
  I still have a job as a Librarian I. Life would be very hard financially, I fear, if I were to try retiring now. Brooks is in first grade. He may need to repeat next year. Poor baby. I love him so. I wish I could make his life perfect for him; it would also be nice to make mine better for myself. I live alone. At night when I periodically awaken from my slumbers while still dreary from sleep, I'll see and hear Brooks talking to me. Then I will realize it is all illusion. Sometimes I see and hear my son Charlie as well. Charlie is Brooks's father and my namesake.

they say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. i say a lot of knowledge is an even more dangerous thing.

Life is a fleeting moment; the most we can do is take advantage of it as best we can.